When someone is trying to persuade you to agree with their line of thinking or action, do you respond to scolding and name-calling with enthusiastic cooperation?

Me neither.

Nor do our kids.

Nor should they. Ever.

In this drastically unique election year in the midst of pandemic, we’ll have opportunities beyond number to begin to teach our children to reject those who seek to belittle and intimidate, to teach them from their youngest years to think for themselves and stand firm in expecting respect for their capabilities and character.

I’m braced for the avalanche of hyperbolic mailers that will overflow our recycling bin. And I’ll recall a controversial ballot measure from a few years back. A mailer arrived with the screaming headline MEASURE 101 FOR DUMMIES. Among other abominations, asserted the mailer, this measure would . . . would . . . raise the price of my latte!

I’m not a dummy, and I don’t buy coffee drinks. The mailer made a colorful paper airplane cat toy.

Then arrived another piece, slamming the same measure as a “baling wire” solution.

Wait, what?

I hadn’t been an autism parent all those years without learning to look at non-standard solutions when the so-called ideal ones weren’t available.

The baling wire metaphor got me thinking. How could such a versatile and sturdy tool could be used as a slur? Baling wire is strong, versatile, affordable and adaptable. I looked up a few definitions:

  • “Used in agriculture and industrial applications for everything.”
  • “A fix-anything material.”
  • “An essential commodity for reliable strength, malleability and usefulness.”
  • “Well known for its ability to support, fix and mend.”

Many autism parents are experts at baling-wire solutions. Where services and resources aren’t available, we improvise with what we have. And many of us can tell you that sometimes, not infrequently, the simple “baling wire” solution is the enduring and durable one. Baling wire doesn’t have to be recharged or restocked with batteries, it’s portable, never needs upgrading to the next “version.” Similar to how yarn or thread on a spool doesn’t show its strength until woven into fabric, baling wire is a thread that can be woven to create something that holds together through all kinds of storms and abuse.

Technology often fails us, eludes us, is available only to those who can afford it, becomes obsolete very quickly. In these times, when funding is always an issue and agreement between polarized views seems out of reach, the baling wire solution may be the one to consider first, the one with most credibility, the one with the widest reach and therefore something of a “best practice.”

In fact, when I read and considered further, that “baling wire solution,” rather than the disaster the Measure 101 mailer made it out to be, earned the vote of this “dummy.”

Teach your children, our future voters: condescension and mockery are the mark of those who don’t respect your intellect, character, and ability to learn and consider verifiable facts.

A recent tweet from an autistic adult reminded people of the obvious—that autistic children grow up to be autistic adults, to which I added, “And when they do, they can, should, and do vote.”

Bryce registered to vote on his 18th birthday, reported for jury duty when summoned at 19, voted in presidential election at 20. No one assumed he couldn’t do any of these things, nor created obstacles or invented reasons why he couldn’t.

He listened to the presidential debates that first year, declared that the pivotal issue for him was education, and wryly observed that the candidates talked a lot about following the rules of the debate, but neither of them did. They didn’t respect the time limit rules, didn’t respect the authority of the moderator, didn’t respect the rules of common courtesy. We half-joked that the solution would be to put a concrete-minded kiddo with autism in the moderator’s chair. Then that two-minute time limit would be two minutes. “Mr. Candidate, STOP. NOW. STOOOOOPPPPP,” followed by flicking off the mic.

And I was especially proud of Bryce, voting in that first election, because after considering and discussing measures and candidates, he took a position different than mine on several and voted his conscience. We did not “cancel each other out.” We represented differing positions arrived at thoughtfully and reflective of our own experiences. This is the essence of voting.

Teach your children: autism is not a barrier to voting. We must not allow anyone to decree by word or action that our autistic young people, colleagues and neighbors aren’t competent to vote. The bar for proving someone is “mentally incompetent” enough to be denied a vote is high, must be proved in court, and in some states, no such laws exist at all. The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers a state-by-state guide to voting rights at https://bit.ly/2V81ADd

In our state, people of all abilities have benefited from our vote by mail law, in force for 23 years now. Almost all states will allow vote by mail this year, many with fewer requirements than usual. It’s invaluable for those who don’t feel safe going to the polls in the midst of a pandemic, not to mention those whose disabilities or work/family obligations preclude hours of waiting in line, those who are ill or have caregiving responsibilities on election day, those without transportation, those susceptible to weather (i.e. everyone). The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) published this state-by-state list of how to vote absentee. Due to high demand this year, the process may take longer than normal, so start the application process as soon as possible. https://bit.ly/2z3HVgg

Also check your state laws about when young people can register to vote. In some states, 17-year-olds can register now if they’ll be 18 by election day.

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© 2020 Ellen Notbohm

Photo credit: Autism Asperger’s Sensory Digest, Fall 2020
Keywords: autism, autistic, parenting, election, vote, voter, voting, vote by mail, voting rights, pandemic, respect, candidate, baling wire, disability, solution

Ellen Notbohm is the internationally renowned author of the multi-award winning Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, a perennial bestseller now in its third edition and published in more than twenty languages.