“The greatest tragedy that can befall a child with autism is to be surrounded by adults who think it’s a tragedy.” That’s my most widely quoted affirmation, and while it draws overwhelming agreement, it also brings out the 1% naysayers. "Well, it's no blessing," comes the retort, to which I reply that not everything in this life has to be [...]
A parent asks: I have a four-year-old son with high-functioning autism. He has speech delay but is very bright and tests academically above his age. We live in a large city and are seeking all the help we can, including ABA. I have read your books about autism and your amazing journey. I'm glad to know your son is going [...]
"Our toddler son fights like a badger during haircuts," writes a dad. "Any suggestions?" Only a few dozen! Shakespeare wasn’t talking about a hair salon when he spoke of “the unkindest cut of all.” He likely never have had the hair-raising--literally--experience of taking a reluctant youngster with autism for a haircut. Many aspects of a hair salon or barber shop [...]
My goal for my son has always been that he be as functional, happy, productive and independent as possible. That goal is ongoing, ever-expanding and never fully realized, which is why it must be immune to any label of finality anyone might attempt to attach to an undefinable outcome. It’s the same goal every parent wants for his or her [...]
A concerned friend writes: My friend’s second-grader Jack has autism. He’s very smart, but he gives up so easily. When he tries to do something new, his response is always, “It’s too hard.” He doesn't say what's on his mind. For example, instead of saying he doesn't like a particular food, he’ll say he’s full, but will ask for a [...]
I cannot help but have mixed feelings about the media stories rolling across my desk recently, headlines blaring that early intervention for children with autism “appears beneficial” or “can make a difference.” For us autism parents, it’s not news. It’s the rest of the world catching up to what we’ve known for years. Hey world, what took ya so long??? [...]
A parent asks: My preschooler's teacher recently told us she thinks our child may be "on the spectrum.” I’m crushed, grieving and not able to accept this. It's so heartbreaking to see my perfectly happy child diagnosed with this condition. Is grief after an autism diagnosis normal? Why am I struggling so with this? Ellen answers: Many parents do experience [...]
It’s a beautiful vision on the horizon–your child with autism child all grown up, a capable and independent adult. When our children are young, that horizon can seem very far away indeed. How will we get there? What should I be doing now? We have no crystal ball, of course. But one thing of which we can be [...]
“Is public school not right for some children with autism? Is homeschooling a better option? Do parents need to follow their gut on such decisions?” I sensed that behind this parent’s highly generalized questions lurked the desire for a pre-supposed answer: he wanted me respond in a manner that validated a position he held. Maybe he wanted that validation for [...]
An Early Childhood Special Education teacher wrote to me about a student of hers who had moved on to kindergarten and was, in her words, struggling. “He has an aide and the best kindergarten teacher I have ever known,” she said, “but his deviant behavior is escalating out of control. We have a strong picture schedule in place with many [...]